Vocabulary lesson #2

I thought about writing up a theoretical exercise today. What if, when I finally got weighed after yesterday's adventure, I'd found the load was too out-of-balance to fix by moving the tandems? Not impossible, after all. I've come close to it before.

So let's say the load was too far forward, and the tandems were slightly too heavy. And although I might get someone to fix that by going back to the shipper, I would (assuming all this) not dare try it. I barely have time to make my first delivery on time as it is. Going back now would guarantee a service failure. Not A Good Thing.

So what to do? Well, I would have to lighten ship. And the only thing I can get rid of that's near the front of the truck is fuel.* Dumping it would be a NO-NO, even if I had a way to do it (can you say Environmental Protection Agency?). But it's the only weight I could (hypothetically) get rid of. And the only untraceable way to get rid of it would be to burn it.

You see why this is hypothetical. I am presumably meditating on techniques to deliberately waste fuel, while driving a truck that is not legal, hoping to waste enough fuel that it WILL be legal by the time it passes a weigh station. No truck driver would do such a thing. Really...

But I might use the notions I came up with in an article someday. After all, if you know how to waste fuel, you also know something about NOT wasting it. And one of the tools I considered for this heinous exercise seemed appropriate for a vocabulary lesson.

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Jake Brake
The common term for any of several devices that allow a diesel engine to resist the forward motion of the truck instead of encouraging it. They usually work by increasing the back-pressure in the engine during the exhaust stroke--so the pistons have to work at moving the gas in the cylinders, instead of the gas working to move the pistons. A side effect of this process is a very different (and often loud) sound from the engine. If you've ever wondered why an eighteen-wheeler slowing down makes more noise than it does speeding up, now you know.

The name derives from the "Jacob's brake"--one of the earliest and most common of these devices.

See also: Jake, Engine Brake, Compression Brake, Exhaust Brake, Engine Retarder

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The Jake Brake has done wonderful things for truck safety. It greatly reduces the need for the regular brakes on steep downhill grades, thus greatly reducing the chances of those brakes overheating and failing. The Jake Brake and improvements in brake-lining technology have, between them, cut down drastically on runaway-truck-ramp use, and made it possible for truckers to actually laugh when they hear Harry Chapin singing "Thirty Thousand Pounds of Bananas."

On the other hand, it has also given certain truckers a whole new way of making their trucks sound cool (read "LOUD"). The urge to make lots of noise to impress passersby with your ride is not confined to bikers and hot-rodders. This particular misuse of technology has resulted in many towns outlawing the use of Jake Brakes. Usually, thank goodness, the towns in question aren't on steep hillsides...

And it's not perfect, even when used as intended. For example, it's a bad idea to use the Jake when it's raining, or icy. It only slows down the drive wheels--not the steers, and (here's the real kicker) not the tandems. Worst-case scenario: All of a sudden the front of the rig is trying to slow down and the back isn't. Or else the drives start skidding, and the middle of the rig is now free to go wherever the mood takes it. Either way, Not Good.

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There. Useful (or at least interesting) information. So, you see? A good writer can get ideas even when he's imagining bad things.

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* If any of this had really happened, the smart thing would have been to pick up the load and THEN fuel. It's a lot easier not to put fuel in than it is to take it out.