Driving in the rain yesterday,

I passed four wrecks in the space of thirty minutes. Three cars and a tractor trailer. All four had lost control in the left lane and ended up in the median. All but the tractor trailer had spun out before it was over; and the big rig looked like its trailer might have tried to swap ends before it stopped. And I could tell that three of them had hit one of those cable "fences" they're stringing up all up and down the Interstates now. The big rig's trailer was still hard up against it.

Apparently it's really easy to lose it swinging into the left lane on a wet road. And apparently when you do you can lose it big.

And apparently those silly fence-looking things do work--two of the cars looked like they might have ended up in the oncoming lanes without it (one hit it HARD--there were still pieces of it jammed into the cables). And the big rig might have made it too, if it didn't flip over on the way. I don't think I'll chuckle quite so much about those things now.

Scary and educational. Hmph.

Vocabulary lesson #2

I thought about writing up a theoretical exercise today. What if, when I finally got weighed after yesterday's adventure, I'd found the load was too out-of-balance to fix by moving the tandems? Not impossible, after all. I've come close to it before.

So let's say the load was too far forward, and the tandems were slightly too heavy. And although I might get someone to fix that by going back to the shipper, I would (assuming all this) not dare try it. I barely have time to make my first delivery on time as it is. Going back now would guarantee a service failure. Not A Good Thing.

So what to do? Well, I would have to lighten ship. And the only thing I can get rid of that's near the front of the truck is fuel.* Dumping it would be a NO-NO, even if I had a way to do it (can you say Environmental Protection Agency?). But it's the only weight I could (hypothetically) get rid of. And the only untraceable way to get rid of it would be to burn it.

You see why this is hypothetical. I am presumably meditating on techniques to deliberately waste fuel, while driving a truck that is not legal, hoping to waste enough fuel that it WILL be legal by the time it passes a weigh station. No truck driver would do such a thing. Really...

But I might use the notions I came up with in an article someday. After all, if you know how to waste fuel, you also know something about NOT wasting it. And one of the tools I considered for this heinous exercise seemed appropriate for a vocabulary lesson.

#####

Jake Brake
The common term for any of several devices that allow a diesel engine to resist the forward motion of the truck instead of encouraging it. They usually work by increasing the back-pressure in the engine during the exhaust stroke--so the pistons have to work at moving the gas in the cylinders, instead of the gas working to move the pistons. A side effect of this process is a very different (and often loud) sound from the engine. If you've ever wondered why an eighteen-wheeler slowing down makes more noise than it does speeding up, now you know.

The name derives from the "Jacob's brake"--one of the earliest and most common of these devices.

See also: Jake, Engine Brake, Compression Brake, Exhaust Brake, Engine Retarder

#####

The Jake Brake has done wonderful things for truck safety. It greatly reduces the need for the regular brakes on steep downhill grades, thus greatly reducing the chances of those brakes overheating and failing. The Jake Brake and improvements in brake-lining technology have, between them, cut down drastically on runaway-truck-ramp use, and made it possible for truckers to actually laugh when they hear Harry Chapin singing "Thirty Thousand Pounds of Bananas."

On the other hand, it has also given certain truckers a whole new way of making their trucks sound cool (read "LOUD"). The urge to make lots of noise to impress passersby with your ride is not confined to bikers and hot-rodders. This particular misuse of technology has resulted in many towns outlawing the use of Jake Brakes. Usually, thank goodness, the towns in question aren't on steep hillsides...

And it's not perfect, even when used as intended. For example, it's a bad idea to use the Jake when it's raining, or icy. It only slows down the drive wheels--not the steers, and (here's the real kicker) not the tandems. Worst-case scenario: All of a sudden the front of the rig is trying to slow down and the back isn't. Or else the drives start skidding, and the middle of the rig is now free to go wherever the mood takes it. Either way, Not Good.

#####

There. Useful (or at least interesting) information. So, you see? A good writer can get ideas even when he's imagining bad things.

-----
* If any of this had really happened, the smart thing would have been to pick up the load and THEN fuel. It's a lot easier not to put fuel in than it is to take it out.

Adventures in weighing

I thought I was going to have a fairly easy day today. I would cover three or four hundred miles of a five-hundred mile run today, and finish it in a leisurely fashion in the morning. Instead, I covered about 140 miles, and if I'm lucky I may arrive barely on time tomorrow.

Why? Well, I tried to find a scale...

I'm sure you've seen the weigh stations scattered up and down the interstates in every state of the Union. (I assume they're in Alaska and Hawaii, too...) They exist because the various states (and the Federal government, which makes the states act with a little consistency) have very specific rules about how much trucks can weigh, and how that weight is distributed among the different sets of wheels. The trailer's "tandem wheels"* can be slid back and forth, to put more or less weight on them. That's usually enough to let you get the weights where you need them.

(Unless the shipper overloaded you, of course. It hasn't happened to me yet, though a couple of times I've had so much freight in the front of the trailer that I couldn't balance the load with the tandems. I had to mess with the fifth wheel then.**

(But that's another story.)

Anyway, many truck stops have a scale that you can use--for a price***--to find out about weight-and-balance problems. In this case, though, the nearest truck stops with scales were thirty miles east or thirty-five miles west of where I picked up the load. And I was going south.

This might not have been too bad, but this particular load is about as heavy as my truck can legally pull. And when it's that close to the max, guessing where to put the tandems is a BAD IDEA. You need to know. Which means finding a scale before you find a weigh station. And most of the weigh stations I've seen in Pennsylvania aren't on the map. So I either make a thirty-to-sixty-mile detour, or just drive south until I find a scale--or a weigh station, whichever comes first--or find a scale that isn't on my list.

Someone at the company checked the records and said a nearby truck stop was listed as having a scale. Well, the list I use isn't right 100% of the time. Worth a try, right? So I ran up the road a few miles, found the truck stop--and its lack of a scale. After a painful amount of time looking for a place to park long enough to ask a question, I rushed in and say "Are there any scales around here?"

One of the nice ladies told me about a place that sells landscaping material. They frequently ship truckloads of stone and have truck scales to keep themselves out of trouble--and don't mind letting other people use them. So off I went, down the interstate, around a fairly tight set of streets, and into their yard. Where they told me they don't let other people use their scales anymore (they've been having problems keeping them working). And there was no place to turn around. So I slowly threaded my way through a maze made of stacks of expensive decorating stone, to a back gate that opened onto a tiny residential street. I missed a light pole by an inch and a quarter while gently stroking a traffic sign (no damage--I was watching it carefully), then brushed a few leaves off a low-hanging tree.

(Yes, they have semi's coming in and out. Shorter, tighter-turning semi's. Flatbed semi's with stone on the back--which means they aren't nearly as tall. Sigh.)

The nice lady at the landscaping place told me about a scale just a mile or two down the road. A more industrial place, where I wouldn't be in as much danger of trapping myself. So off I went again. The new place's yard was indeed bigger and easer to get around in. A little. And they had a scale, once I threaded my way through more stacks of building material (and piles of gravel--the scale was at their asphalt plant). After many interesting adventures I got to the scale. Its operators had gone home an hour or so before I'd left the last place.

At this point I realized I would have lost less time (and maybe less fuel) if I'd just bit the bullet and taken a detour. And the nearest scale to the south wasn't THAT far out of the way. Okay, time to suck it up and go.

And here I am. With a tale to tell. And four hundred miles to go in the morning. At least I'll be legal.

-----
*The wheels/axles on a tractor-trailer rig are usually referred to as follows: The front wheels/axles are the "steering wheels," or "steers." The ones on the back of the tractor are the "driving wheels" or "drives." The ones on the trailer are the "tandem wheels" or "tandems."

**The "fifth wheel"--the platform on the back of the tractor that acts as a "trailer hitch"--can also be slid back and forth, but it's a lot more hassle and it's usually not necessary.

***A legitimate business expense. My company reimburses me for it in many cases.

Good people still...

I'm in a freight yard in New Jersey, preparing to sweat into my bed. The heat isn't too bad, but the humidity is right up there in Georgia territory. And since New Jersey is a "no idling" state, well...

Got here early, and found out they'd let me park for the night (a welcome bit of news--truck stop hunting in New Jersey is quite a sport). I asked if there were any stores, restaurants, etc., nearby and got directions. They thought I was going to unhook from the trailer and bobtail* there--most people have a different definition of "walking distance" than I have.

Walked to a supermarket, got a few things, and started back. By the time I got close to the freight yard again, it was dark and I was starting to feel the walk. It was about that time I realized I'd left my hat at the supermarket. And by that time I was far enough along that it didn't make sense to turn around. Might as well go on to the truck, toss my newly-purchased stuff in, and then go back. Sigh. I took what I thought was the right side street and trudged on toward (temporary) home.

When the street took a right-angle curve I started to wonder. When the dog started barking ferociously from behind someone's back fence, I wondered some more. I didn't remember any houses on that street, facing this way or not.

The owner of the house told me I was walking down a dead-end street. For a moment that was encouraging--this place IS on a dead-end street. But then he went on about the trucking company he kept hearing through the woods--over THAT way. I told him which street I thought I was on. He told me this wasn't it. Then he told me to come around the house (outside the fence, no sense upsetting the dog further). He was going out to get some pizza for his kids. He could take a small side trip.

It turned out to be a bit bigger--he took me back to the supermarket to get my hat. Commiserated about the trucker's life (he drives a garbage truck), the perfidies of politicians, and the state of the world in general. Then dropped me off in front of the trucking company, wished me luck, and went off to find sustenance for his offspring.

There are still decent human beings to be found in random places. I sometimes forget. The reminder was worth the getting lost, I think.

-----
*fairly obvious, I think

Scenery revisited

Just finished watching the light fade from the hills in front of me. I found another truck stop that gave me a view of sorts if I pulled into the right spot. Not as good as the one in Ohio, but I'll take what I can get.

I'm in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia. I stopped a little early and looked for a good spot--I can't deliver my load until Monday morning anyway, so I do have some time to squander at the moment. The Valley is pretty in general, and this truck stop is well situated for looking at the hills instead of the interstates and industrial districts, so I am content. But there was a little more this time.

After I shut down I took a little walk--no more than a mile--up the road past the truck stop. Virginia Tech has an agricultural research station at this exit.* Turn left before the Sheep Appraisal Center (I kid you not) and you'll end up at the centerpiece (from a tourist's standpoint, anyway) of the station: the farm, mill, and workshop that belonged to Cyrus McCormick.

THAT Cyrus McCormick. The one who invented the reaper. The father of mechanized agriculture.

It was late Saturday afternoon, so everything was closed. I gritted my teeth and walked the "interpretive trail" where signs told me in great detail how much more environmentally aware we are now than they were when Mr. McCormick was running this place. I would rather have looked inside the grist mill. But what the heck. It was still neat to see the place. Maybe someday my downtime will be more fortunately placed.

Meanwhile I saw some old buildings, a very pretty piece of wetland, and a young couple being photographed to death (most professionally) in the picturesque surroundings. (I presume they were doing "we're engaged" photos. I didn't interrupt to ask.)

Then I walked back. Halfway "home," I passed three young deer grazing in a research-station field. I presume they were young--they all three had white spots all over their backs, and I don't know many types of deer in the US that keep those into maturity. They kept popping their heads up and thinking about running, so I didn't stop and watch them. Just kept right on going, so they would know I didn't plan to leap the five-foot fence, bull my way through the electrified wire, and run them down with a knife and fork. They went back to their grazing, and I continued on, a bow wave of spooked grasshoppers spreading before me.

Came back here and watched the light fade. Now I'm going to bed. Sometimes this gig isn't all that bad...

-----

*Exit 205 on Interstate 81, Virginia--in case any of this sounds amusing

Vocabulary lesson #1

Today I dropped a load at a warehouse belonging to a major firm (I guarantee you'd recognize the name). When I went in to finish the paperwork, I got a bit of a surprise. I'd never had this particular company charge a lumper fee before. My dispatcher says it's started happening more often recently. I suppose the economy has had some odd effects.

And it occurred to me that I would've had no idea what a "lumper fee" was just a few short months ago. Like most occupations, trucking has developed its own language, both technical and slang. I've tried to explain those terms when they come up, but for a word freak like me that isn't enough. Language for its own sake has always fascinated me. So here begins a series on terms I haven't used yet.

#####

Lumper

Someone who loads or unloads your truck. Usually refers to someone who loads or unloads your truck when you're supposed to be doing it.

Most companies I deliver to have an enlightened view of loading and unloading: They have the equipment, they have the practice, and they know where everything's supposed to go; so they do the job. But some places adhere to what seems to be an older custom: The driver is delivering the stuff, and "delivering" includes bringing it in the door. The fact that the average driver has no idea how to use a forklift, much less the brand they just bought; that he has no idea how the warehouse is laid out, that letting the driver tear around lifting heavy weights--with or without fancy equipment--is just begging for insurance nightmares--these are mere bagatelles.

Well, not exactly. What actually happens is that they require you to prove you are sufficiently skilled to deliver their products to them. And if you can't--well it's your lucky day, sir! We just happen to have a crew here who guarantee to do a safe and thorough job for you! For a reasonable fee, of course...

Many of these companies have a separate entity that does the "lumping," and you pay them (and thus the lumpers) directly. But more and more often they simply say "Fifty bucks* unloading fee." That was the treatment that surprised me today.

And it did surprise me. Not only had I never gotten that treatment from this company before, but it seemed a bit brazen to me. "Hi, look at our clever new way of lowering our shipping costs by $xx.xx!"

And this example was more brazen than most. The delivery was "drop and hook"--I dropped the loaded trailer and left with an empty one. The goods I brought weren't to be unloaded for some time--for all I know they didn't even have any room in the warehouse. But I still had to pay the people who will unload it--eventually.

I'll bet you hadn't thought of THAT expense. And yet if you're an owner-operator, this is something you're pulling out of your pocket fairly often.

Many of the trucking companies (mine included) treat it as a normal expense--you tell them you need a lumper fee and they put the money into the same account you use to buy fuel. You then write the customer a check that draws on that account, and everybody's happy.

Except those who try to make some sense of the whole thing. I should know better.

p.s. I try not to use terms like "lumper" unless I hear them use it first. Political correctness is not limited to politics...

-----

*Or a hunnerd, or a hunnerd'n'fifty or...

Climate control, revisited

Just finished a shower--occasionally I'm in more or less the right place at the right time. It's good to feel human again.

Shaving was fun. I took way too much time between shaves. These multi-bladed disposable wonders are great when you're almost clean-shaven already; but when your beard reaches a certain length you end up clogging the space between the blades with a mass of shaving cream and wet whiskers. Doesn't work well at all. The only cure I've found is to shave dry. Dry whiskers don't clot up. But your face certainly experiences the experience.

Now I'm waiting for the truck to cool down enough to let me sleep without sweating too much. As I may have mentioned once upon a time, the sleeper cab is something a lot of people think is kind of cool. Or is that pretty hot? Well, they're right either way. When you want it to be warm, it's quite cool. And when you want to relax in the evening breezes, it's quite hot.

In most trucks, if you want to fix that you've got one option: Start the motor and run the heater or the air conditioner, depending.* But that's becoming less of an option these days, for several reasons.

Fuel

The kind of engine that powers an eighteen-wheeler burns about a gallon an hour idling. At $3.00 a gallon that was real money. At beyond $4.00 and climbing on afterburners, it's become a Matter of Concern to management. My company hasn't gone all Big Brother at the truck stops (yet), but they have cracked down on idling at their own terminals. And they go to a lot of trouble to explain how not idling can make us more competitive (read: "get more miles").

Environmental concerns

You are turning a lot of fuel into, um, other stuff, after all. And big diesels are woefully inefficient at idle, so they're dirtier, too.

Prohibition

Citing the environmental concerns, several states (especially in the Northeast--and California, of course) have actually outlawed idling. Run your truck more than five minutes while standing still and they can fine you big time. I have always suspected they didn't really want trucks up there...

#####

So what to do? There are several solutions floating around out there. They all cause mixed emotions. The ones I know about include:

Shorepower

The oldest solution. Lots of trucks out west are equipped with an AC plug like the one on RV's or boats. Mostly it's to power some kind of heater in or around your engine block, to keep the coolant from freezing and destroying your engine during a Rocky Mountain blizzard or the like. I have an uncle who once told me that a lot of Colorado restaurants have hookups for the trucks that get stranded in their parking lots.

As long as you have the wiring there it's not too hard to add other things to the circuit, like a battery charger. If your coolant (antifreeze) is hot, your heater works. Winter becomes survivable.

Summer is less so. The truck's A/C can't be run off batteries. And carrying two A/C's, one of which only works when parked and plugged in, may be all right for an RV--but these trucks are supposed to haul PAYING weight. Besides, it would only work when you plug it in--and I have yet to see a truck stop that has shorepower outlets. (Mind you, I've never been further west than Texas and Chicago--as I said, I've heard they're common in the mountain states. But still...)

IdleAire(tm)

This is a company that has installations at a bunch of truck stops across the country. At each such truck stop, you will find a set of parking spaces with an elaborate framework overhead. Pull into a space, put a special adapter in your passenger window, and attach the gadget you'll find hanging down from the framework.

From the outside it looks like a caterpillar from outer space is trying to crawl into the truck and eat you. From the inside, it's like the mother of all drive-in movie window speakers. But once you've shown the monster your membership card and bribed it with your Visa (or other acceptable form of payment), you have climate control, with filtered air. And electrical power. And an Ethernet port to get you onto the Internet. And a phone line, if you have a phone. And a dedicated browser if you don't have your computer with you. And cable tv.

And you don't have to add a thing to your truck to use all of it. Except for a plastic window insert you stick behind a cabinet when you're not using it.

I've spent the night this way a few times. It's heavenly. But there are a few disadvantages:

They don't have it everywhere.

Even where they do have it, they don't have it at all the parking spaces. I haven't often found every space taken, but I have seen it.

You have to pay for the service.
At the going hourly rate, an overnight stay costs a bit less than a cheap motel room. I can't spend that kind of money routinely. And of those company drivers who can, many will say "Why pay when I can just idle the truck? I'm not paying for the fuel."

Owner-operators may well think it's worth it. And moving-van crews do--they frequently sit for days waiting for a contract, and many of them do it at an IdleAire facility. Some companies buy a fleetwide membership for their drivers. Others won't touch it, saying it'll make their drivers plan their routes around IdleAire stops instead fuel efficiency, delivery time, and the Good of the Company in general.

Opti-Idle

(I think that's how it's spelled.)
A setup that lets you tell the truck what you want in the way of temperature, battery levels, etc. The truck then starts and shuts down the engine as needed. The problem is the off-and-on nature of it.

The second or third time you wake up that night because a big diesel decided to fire up without warning, you start wondering how wonderful this invention is. (Reefers* are bad enough...)

Oh, yeah, and you're still idling the truck part of the time. Which still gives you all the problems I mentioned above.

Auxiliary Power Units

APU's for short. A little diesel motor (why carry two kinds of fuel?) mounted on the frame behind the cab, running a generator, an A/C, and some kind of heater. Depending on how you rig them they can also keep your engine from freezing in the REAL winter.

Advantages?

They burn a quarter the fuel the big engine would--sometimes less. They do just as good a job of keeping the truck warm/cool and the batteries charged (so you can run your fridge, microwave, tv, etc.). And they work anywhere you happen to park. Including the customer's freight yard and that little spot by the side of the road.

Disadvantages?

They're almost as noisy as the big engines, at least at present. Muffler tech doesn't seem to be a big priority. And they generally have their exhaust coming right out of the box. Which means that you and your neighbors are breathing the fumes (the big boys at least shove their exhaust up above the truck). They cut in and out as needed, which makes them as pleasant as Opti-Idle trucks and reefers.

Oh. And California won't let you run them anyway. Not any that are on the market at the moment, at least.

#####

At the moment, of course, all of this is irrelevant. I have no APU. My company decided not to inflict Opti-Idle on its drivers. They don't underwrite IdleAire, either; and this truck stop doesn't have it anyway. Neither the truck nor the stop is set up for shorepower.

And it's starting to cool down. About time. Night, all.

-----

*Reefer--Refrigerated trailer.
It has a diesel-powered cooling unit mounted on the front, that fires up as needed to keep the trailer cool. Reefer drivers claim the sound is comforting, and that they have trouble sleeping without it. That may be true. It isn't especially comforting to the rest of us.

**Well, you can run the fans (in the summer). In the winter, you might try a 12V electric blanket/heat pad. For as long as the batteries hold out. At some point you might have to start the truck anyhow.

TYTFG* #5: Cleanliness

Sitting in a Service Plaza on the New York Thruway watching the backlight slowly fade from around the clouds.

It's a Friday night. Maybe that's why there are so many people coming and going even at this hour. I keep forgetting, this part of New York State is touristy. Pleasant diversion at any rate.

I just finished saying goodbye to a couple who were working on their boat trailer in the parking lot. The bearings had gone out in two of its four wheels. One wheel more or less blew up, and the gentleman decided to check the others on general principles. He was quite glad he did. He fixed his wheel, we had a nice chat, and then they headed on, looking for a motel and a shower.

My, how I envy them.

Another thing I didn't really think about in my innocent days. Keeping clean. As you may have deduced, most trucks don't have bathrooms. (Some do, I'm told, but let's stick to the typical experience for the moment.) Truck stops and rest areas have restrooms--another thing altogether. You can wash up in a restroom sink. You can even shave there, as long as you're not holding anyone up (more common than you think). But even a decent sponge bath is a pain. Every once in a while you just need a shower.

Many truck stops have showers. They charge for them. Ten dollars is typical. Now there are times when it's worth $10 to get some of the grease and the grime off. Not to mention the smell. But this puts a hot shower in the "luxury" category. (Or a cold shower, for that matter. In the summer I sometimes find them wonderful...)

There are other ways to pay for a shower. Many truck stops will give you one free, if you fuel there. The usual minimum purchase is around 70 gallons--real easy to do when you're pouring diesel into two fuel tanks, each seemingly bigger than you are. Trouble is, if you're a company driver like me the company usually tells you where to fuel--and it's almost never where you're gonna stop for the night.

Fortunately, the company usually has me fueling at one of a few big nationwide chains. And those nationwide chains have nationwide "rewards programs." The third or fourth thing my trainer told me was to sign up for every rewards program those chains offered. You swipe your card when you fuel up, and then, sometime in the next few days, stop for the night at another of their locations. Wave the card at the nice lady behind the counter and Voila! Free shower.

Now all you have to do is find another location that's on the way to the customer. At the right distance, so you can stop at the right time. Funny how all the other chains have a branch at this exit...

In the winter this is a pain. In the summer, it can make you extremely unpopular, if you're not careful.

Rest areas, of course, have no showers. Hm. I wonder if they sell alcohol here. Wintergreen, preferably...

-----

*Things You Took For Granted

TYTFG* #4: Water

Cool-- (Water!)

Clear--(Water!)

Water! (...Water!)

(Thanks, Roy.)

I'll admit, this one never even crossed my mind in driving school. But it's important, and harder to come by than you think.

As you know, I haven't been at this long, so I can't speak for the "old days." But in the past few months, I have seen exactly two truck stops with water fountains. Whether they were once more common I cannot say. I do wonder whether the discovery that they could SELL you water at premium soft-drink prices had any effect on the situation...

I can't remember at the moment how much water the Health-Priests say you're supposed to drink every day. I do know I'd spend more on water than food, if I got it at truck stop prices.

And yet, you really do need the stuff. I have more than once spent a day seemingly half-asleep, with no energy and not much tendency to pay attention to the things around me. And then I would find a place that had a water fountain, drink the stuff down for (seemingly) five minutes straight, and suddenly I was awake, aware, and ready to go. Dehydration is real.

What to do? Suddenly the guys who fill their sleeper's luggage compartment with cheap bottled water have more sympathy from me. But spending even that much on water isn't in the cards for me right now. So I find myself frequenting Interstate rest areas more and more. They'll sell you bottled water, too--just look at those vending machines. But they haven't yet torn out the fountains to eliminate the competition.

I wonder what I'll do when they decide to.

-----

*Things You Took For Granted

Downtime: Thomasville, GA

Sitting at a table in the truck stop, soaking up the air conditioning. If you wind up in Thomasville, the Jack Rabbit is a little sparse on standard truck-stop amenities--it's basically a BP convenience store with a bigger-than-average parking lot. No restaurant, no array of cutesy and/or "useful" items for truckers. But it's quiet, which counts for a lot. And it does have a table in the store to hide from the heat.

I spent the morning walking downtown and wandering around. (Another good point about the Jack Rabbit. Usually a trip like that is not an option. I've talked about truck-stop isolation before...) About a mile up there, I think, but I like to walk. Your mileage may vary. Hot and thirsty work, but several nice points.

Every other Saturday, the locals who are into such things hold a "Green Market."
It's easier out here than in some places--a lot of their "green stuff" is basically homemade jellies, jams, pickles, etc., and other things that are as easy for a farming family to figure out. Like the people who were selling a homemade insect repellent--citronella, cedar, and a couple of other herbs I don't remember offhand. Their "standard strength" product is your basic OFF-feeling liquid. "Farmer's strength" is the same thing in an olive-oil base (a little oily-feeling, but it doesn't wear off as quickly).

The main drag has gone all high-concept.
Antique stores, arts-and-crafts, specialty stores, deli's, pubs, natural-foods restaurants, you get the idea. It seems to have worked out better here than it often does. The town was big enough that they could actually get a fair bit of variety--I got lost for a few minutes, a couple of times. So you actually get to explore. And it's far enough from larger cities to be a destination still. Or maybe it's something else. All I know is, the ratio of cute shops to empty storefronts is pretty high. And it had several places I thought worth poking into.

If you want to eat, you have choices.
Most of them aren't fast or cheap, though. High concept downtowns tend to be like that. The Subway's credit-card machine was down, so I had to hunt hard.

I finally found a place called Izzo's that made a nice chicken-philly for a reasonable price.

Izzo's, of course, is your basic trendy-name something or other. Except it's not. It's been in in Thomasville for generations. It started out as a drugstore. The soda fountain survived.

Don't ask me how, but it still feels like a local institution. I have no trouble imagining bottles on the back wall and a pharmacy counter. The lady at the counter would be right at home there.

Friendly. Down to earth, after a fashion (a blatant "look at me, I'm a 50's soda fountain" fashion, but still...). And they make a good sandwich.

Broad Street, near the courthouse.

But of course the bookstore stole my attention.
I spent a fair part of the afternoon contentedly skimming. If I'd had any money at all, there was one book I would have bought. The Book Shelf was a pleasant diversion.

In fact, that's why I'm back at the Jack Rabbit. If I'd relaxed there for much longer, I would've started worrying about wearing out my welcome. Not in the sense of upsetting them--the lady seemed to take the Barnes & Noble attitude--but I'm Southern enough to feel bad about sitting around all day and not buying anything.

Scruples. Sigh.

All in all a pleasant afternoon. Now to wait until the truck is survivable.

The romance of the open road, part 2

It's raining outside, just a little. A cool pre/post-thunderstorm breeze tickles the window beside me, playing at making me cooler without actually doing it.

The parking lot is almost empty at the moment. It's a small one, but nice. I'm facing north, with shade trees within sight to the south and west. Grass, breezes. The pervasive rumble of idling engines, but so far I haven't noted the faint odor of stale urine that seems to be a given at these places. Even the odor of old diesel seems absent here. Perhaps an illusion.

I'm told the center of town is about a mile away--not a bad walk, if I decide I need to go somewhere. The neighborhood seems to be a neighborhood, for a change (most of these places are either isolated or on the edge of grungy industrial districts, as I believe I may have mentioned). All in all, a pleasant little place.

I hope so. I expect to be here for at least the next two days.

Remember that accident I mentioned the other day? The one that backed up traffic for something like seven hours? It made me late enough for this delivery that nobody will be there to unload trucks until Monday (it's Friday, by the way). My dispatcher says he worked long and hard looking for another way to get this load delivered and found none. So until the boys come to work Monday morning, I am a tourist on unpaid vacation. Without a car.

This hasn't happened to me in a while. Used to be (he said, in his best ancient, wheezing "Uphill! Both ways!" voice) I would occasionally have to sit for a day or two. Usually because I'd run out of hours for the week and had to chill for 34 hours and restart my calendar. But that was when I was out for three and four weeks at a time. My wife is not well enough for me to do that so casually, so I made other arrangements. I'm seldom out for more than seven days at a time, these days. This is going to be an exception.

Amusingly enough, the Interstate of our last tale locked up twice more on the way here. Once it took about half an hour to clear it up. The second one was a five-minute stop and a slow parade past the pileup.

#####

It occurs to me that I haven't taken my own advice. If there was ever a time for a nap just in case something wonderful happens, it would be now. Talk to you later.

#####

That "nap" totalled to about twelve hours, with two brief interruptions. Apparently I was much tireder than I thought. Easy to do, between the invisible stress (I mean, how hard IS it, to sit and steer for hours? Right?), the cold I had over the weekend, and trying to sleep in a steam ba--I mean sleeper cab.

I knew I was wiped, but not THAT wiped. I'm going to have to pay more attention to myself.

The romance of the open road

I am presently sitting in my truck in the dark. Alone. Typing. In the middle of an Interstate.

A few hours ago, a truck pulling a double-trailer rig apparently swerved to try and avoid running over someone in a much smaller vehicle. Instead of swerving, the whole rig flipped onto its side and slid sideways.*

I don't know yet whether there were fatalities. There were other complications. Double-trailer rigs in the East are usually run by LTL** companies. And LTL companies require their drivers to have hazmat endorsements for a reason. Of the many and varied packages those trailers carried, several of them apparently contained some amount of hazardous materials. So all has come to a halt while the EPA decides what to do.

The wreck covers most of the westbound lanes. I'm on the eastbound side. A short distance from an exit ramp. So why am I here? Because hazmat spill response is strictly regulated. One of those regulations involves an area surrounding the accident that has to be kept clear of people. An area that, in this case, includes all lanes of the Interstate, in both directions--and the exit ramp.

Nothing to speak of has moved on this highway in over two hours now.*** Nothing to speak of is likely to move for some while to come. But of course I can't really relax. When it DOES move, I'd better be ready to move with it, or someone is going to complain about the island in the stream. No naps for me.

Hm. Something seems to be happening. I wonder if it will involve movement. Guess I'd better move to the driver's seat and find out.

###

False alarm, sort of. Basically someone got an idea of how long this was really going to take, and all the little vehicles (the ones that could manage a U-turn) went the way of the nice people mentioned in the footnote.*** Don't blame them. If I could turn this thing around I'd do it too. A few of the crazier drivers actually have. As well as an intercity bus.

Meanwhile, the police have asked us to move over and clear the left lane for emergency vehicles. I guess it's a good thing so many little vehicles have bailed. We actually managed to clear the lane (mostly).

###

It's daylight, and I've had a shower and a meal. They finally released us last night, and I fumbled my way to a truck stop. At two in the morning. I won't be able to move the truck again before noon. And my load was due at 10 am. Joy forever.

This is not one of the more cheerful entries here. Sorry 'bout that. But at least this is the first time something of this order has happened to me. Some of the other drivers I talked to (standing on the road and talking was the main entertainment for a lot of us, last night) said it's the kind of thing that will happen sooner or later, but not all that often. The average among the experienced drivers was about every 6-8 years. I carefully didn't listen to the detailed descriptions of what caused those other backups. Some were kind of grisly...

-----
*There's a reason we tend to let you little vehicles do all the weaving, lane-changing, speeding up, slowing down, etc. Trying to jerk one of these around is a good way to--well, do what this poor fellow did.

**LTL: "Less-(than-a-)Truck-Load"
A company that moves things for people who don't have enough freight to fill a trailer all by themselves. UPS and FedEx both have LTL divisions, but there are a fair number or others.
Since an LTL company has lots of packages from lots of different customers on each trailer, they can't be too anal-retentive about what they're carrying. You're not likely to find explosives or red fuming nitric acid on an LTL rig, but many of their customers will want to move things like charcoal lighter fluid or cleaning compounds. So when an LTL truck wrecks, hazmat procedures often come into play.

***Well, unless you count all the people illegally creeping the wrong way down the shoulder of the road to the "official vehicles only" U-turn drive, where they illegally get on the Interstate going the other way. In this circumstance I don't mind. It relieves the tedium, especially when one moves too far over and slides into the ditch. (Not a bad ditch, but they're sure not getting out of it by driving up the bank in the rain. Oh, did I mention it's raining?)
(Be nice, I tell myself. It only happened once, and I didn't really laugh. Sardonic smile, maybe...)

Take a nap

When you work for a company, they assign you your loads. Most of the time this is a routine thing, but not always. The following is a journal entry I made some time back...

Last night I got a com* around midnight, wanting me to help with a repower** that would require me to be up and around at 0500. I'd had 5 hours sleep the night before and hadn't gotten to bed until 11 that night. If I'd slept when I'd gotten in***, I could have done it.

My excuse**** (to myself) was that I'd just missed a deadline and had my delivery set back 24 hours, so what was the difference? But if I'd been fit to drive I could have gotten in almost 500 miles in the time I'm now sitting around in, and the other guy could have gotten his break in and taken my load in when the time was right.

As it is, I slept in past 1100 and wasted money on a nice breakfast. Now I'll go take a shower. Wow. How productive.

As you can see, life lessons can be found out here. Now I try to at least get a nap in as soon as I stop for the day, in case I get surprised. After all, once you've spent ten hours off, you're fair game...

------

*com: Satcom message.
The truck has a computer aboard with a satellite communicator, a GPS, and a few other toys. I'll talk about the wonders of technology another time.

**repower: Switching loads with another driver.

So called because the most common reason for doing it is that one of us can't make a delivery on time. Either something is wrong with a truck, or you (for example) would run out of (legal) hours before getting there and I (for example) won't.
So we put a new engine (and driver) under the trailer and keep going--we "re-power" it.

Under the right circumstances, this can up your mileage quickly, and/or raise your stock with a (presently desperate) dispatcher. Win-win, if you're ready for it.

Obviously this is not something you can plan on ahead of time.

***Squinting into the far past, I seem to recall having gotten in around 4 or 5pm. Certainly before 7pm. I could have taken the repower, legally. But with no more sleep than I'd gotten I didn't think I'd be safe.

****--for staying up so late, that is--

TYTFG* #3: Nine to Five (or the equivalent thereof)

I've had some odd schedules in my varied and glorious career. This is the first time I haven't really HAD one.

A truck driver's hours are more or less set by the loads, and limited by the Federal Government. You pick up a load when it's ready, and drive until you've gotten it where it's supposed to go. The gummint, meanwhile, propounds rules meant to keep you from living on caffeine, speed, and B vitamins while you pile up the money . (You're paid by the mile, y'see. That's why so many truckers hate speed limits, and why drug use can be a problem.)

The present rule is:

• No more than eleven hours behind the wheel.
• No driving after you've been up and around for fourteen hours.
• Once you've gone over either of those limits, you HAVE to take ten hours off before you can drive again.**
• You can't spend more than 60 hours in 7 days, or 70 hours in 8 days, "on duty." This means time spent carrying out your duties as a driver, whether you're actually driving or not.
• You can start your day over at any time by taking ten hours off. That's ten hours STRAIGHT, mind you.**
• You can start your (7- or 8-day) "week" over at any time by taking 34 hours off. Again, that's 34 hours STRAIGHT.**

(qt's legal department wishes him to point out that this is a paraphrase of some truly wonderful legalese. Please do not attempt to schedule your life based on this paraphrase. Neither qt nor quasitrucker-the-blog is responsible for any problems you may have with any government agencies.

(We now return you to your regularly scheduled lecture.)

Given a choice, I've developed a liking for farmer's hours--more or less. The truck stops begin to fill up around 6-7 pm (later in the summer, earlier in the winter), so I try to end my day around then. The fourteen-hour rule implies I should get started around 4-5 am--that way I CAN'T drive past my ideal "quitting time." So I get up around 4, drive all day (if I can), and shut down somewhere between 3 and 6 pm (while there are still lots of parking spaces). Then I get up around 4 again tomorrow.

As you may have guessed, it doesn't always work that way. Every once in a while you get a load that you HAVE to pick up at midnight, or deliver at 3 am. Then you just have to warp your schedule to fit. And the moment that happens, your dispatcher says "Hey, he's got six more hours, and I've got a load he can pick up right now. He'll thank me for this someday..."

When this happens you just have to ride with it, until you can find an excuse to warp it all back. The only exception to that (in my case) is driving all night. I've avoided it so far, and I will keep on doing so for as long as I can. If I START at 2 or 3 am, I'm grumpy but that's all. If I STOP at 2 or 3 am, the same. But starting at, say, 10pm and driving all night? No, thanks. It's a safety thing, y'see.

I've let 3 am pass me in the middle of a run once. After an hour or so dodging those cloudy translucent boulders in the road, I decided it was too much work and stopped until they went away.

Sneaky things. My trainer never saw a one of them.
-----
*Things You Took For Granted

**"hours off"

--can be spent either goofing off or staring at the ceiling from a bunk in your sleeper cab. You have a place in your log book for each.
Usually they don't care which you do. However, there are a few odd situation where it makes a lot of difference.
In particular, there is a way to spend less than ten STRAIGHT hours off and make up the difference later in the day, but you HAVE to spend a certain amount of that time in the sleeper.
It's complicated. I don't understand it myself, so I'm sure not going to try explaining it to you...