Vocabulary lesson #1

Today I dropped a load at a warehouse belonging to a major firm (I guarantee you'd recognize the name). When I went in to finish the paperwork, I got a bit of a surprise. I'd never had this particular company charge a lumper fee before. My dispatcher says it's started happening more often recently. I suppose the economy has had some odd effects.

And it occurred to me that I would've had no idea what a "lumper fee" was just a few short months ago. Like most occupations, trucking has developed its own language, both technical and slang. I've tried to explain those terms when they come up, but for a word freak like me that isn't enough. Language for its own sake has always fascinated me. So here begins a series on terms I haven't used yet.

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Lumper

Someone who loads or unloads your truck. Usually refers to someone who loads or unloads your truck when you're supposed to be doing it.

Most companies I deliver to have an enlightened view of loading and unloading: They have the equipment, they have the practice, and they know where everything's supposed to go; so they do the job. But some places adhere to what seems to be an older custom: The driver is delivering the stuff, and "delivering" includes bringing it in the door. The fact that the average driver has no idea how to use a forklift, much less the brand they just bought; that he has no idea how the warehouse is laid out, that letting the driver tear around lifting heavy weights--with or without fancy equipment--is just begging for insurance nightmares--these are mere bagatelles.

Well, not exactly. What actually happens is that they require you to prove you are sufficiently skilled to deliver their products to them. And if you can't--well it's your lucky day, sir! We just happen to have a crew here who guarantee to do a safe and thorough job for you! For a reasonable fee, of course...

Many of these companies have a separate entity that does the "lumping," and you pay them (and thus the lumpers) directly. But more and more often they simply say "Fifty bucks* unloading fee." That was the treatment that surprised me today.

And it did surprise me. Not only had I never gotten that treatment from this company before, but it seemed a bit brazen to me. "Hi, look at our clever new way of lowering our shipping costs by $xx.xx!"

And this example was more brazen than most. The delivery was "drop and hook"--I dropped the loaded trailer and left with an empty one. The goods I brought weren't to be unloaded for some time--for all I know they didn't even have any room in the warehouse. But I still had to pay the people who will unload it--eventually.

I'll bet you hadn't thought of THAT expense. And yet if you're an owner-operator, this is something you're pulling out of your pocket fairly often.

Many of the trucking companies (mine included) treat it as a normal expense--you tell them you need a lumper fee and they put the money into the same account you use to buy fuel. You then write the customer a check that draws on that account, and everybody's happy.

Except those who try to make some sense of the whole thing. I should know better.

p.s. I try not to use terms like "lumper" unless I hear them use it first. Political correctness is not limited to politics...

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*Or a hunnerd, or a hunnerd'n'fifty or...